Original article from Thought Catalogue, By Christel Broederlow, February 1st 2018

1. Knowing

Empaths have a deep sense of knowing that is unwavering and unquestionable which comes with pinpoint accuracy in its description. They are capable of reading others without obvious cues and can describe what’s really going on beneath the surface.

They know if someone is being dishonest or not speaking their truths. The more attuned they are to their empathy the stronger and more frequent the knowing and reading abilities will be.

2. Effective Listeners And Communicators

A natural ability to listen with all their senses acutely attuned allowing the person to feel as though they are being heard and understood. They can intuitively guide a conversation with sincere compassion enabling even the most reserved person to respond and express their deepest and even most painful thoughts and feelings they wouldn’t ordinarily share.

In most case, it is carried out in an unspoken confidence and trust, yet if a situation potentially calls for outside intervention (i.e. self-harm) they will weigh up the need to act in the best interest of that person, not self, even if it means risking ongoing relations.

3. Overwhelmed In Public Places

Shopping malls, supermarkets or stadiums where masses of people gather can be overwhelming and even lead to panic attacks or anxiety due to the myriad of emotions being sensed and until this is contained and manageable they will steer clear of being in said surroundings.

4. Feeling Others Emotions Pains, Illnesses And Stresses

Due to heightened sensitivities to emotional and physical energy it is a very common occurrence to take on-board the emotions etc. of others and not even realize they are doing so. Directly mirroring it as though it was their own.

It can make it very difficult to distinguish what is belonging to self or another and life can become extremely overwhelming. Self-awareness brings a greater degree of control and the ability to determine whose emotions etc. are whose and not get caught up in it.

5. Mood Swings, Unpredictable And Needy

They can experience extreme highs and lows which makes them unpredictable in behavior at the best of times. One minute they can be happy and the next minute very sad and withdrawn which is not always the result of how they actually feel but what they have picked up in others, this can be confusing let alone depressing.

They can also be very demanding of attention be it for good reasons or not, if they feel they are not being heard they will act out and come across as needy, even narcissistic, although they would seriously question and oppose the latter. Just because one may have strong empathy at some point in time does not mean they are not akin to being so overwhelmed with it that they fall heavily towards narcissism.

6. Sensitive to TV, Radio, and Movies And Real Life Chaos

Violence, cruelty, shocking scenes of physical or emotional pain or abuse can bring an empath to tears. They may even feel physically ill, bewildered and struggle to comprehend such acts as being justified. One sure way of dealing with this is to turn off the TV or radio or disassociating yourself from the chaos.

7. Prone To Illness, Disease And Physical Pain

Because of the onslaught of emotional energy they are overly sensitive too and in most cases, they don’t know how to deal with this can become problematic and manifest into varying forms of illnesses or disease. It is vital to learn about emotional energy, distinguish its origin and apply the tools that will allow the person to move forward with balanced wellness. Existing illnesses and disease can potentially be laid to rest once and for all in doing so.

8. Magnetic Pull Of Trust

Others, including strangers are drawn to an empath like a magnet and find it easy to express themselves and resonate with them on a deep and meaningful level; they will often feel like they have known each other for many years even though they may have just met.

People have this innate sense of trust and feel comfortable and relaxed in their presence yet are conscious they would not normally feel this way.

9. Constant Fatigue

They are drawn to helping others and in doing so take on more than their fair share to personally cope with both emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually and will experience constant fatigue. They may need to take daily catnaps or retreats just to replenish their energy and feel revitalized.

10. Addictive Behaviour

Can be caused by wanting to escape from what they are bombarded with or a desperate need to feel connected.

Their heightened sensitivities more than often don’t come with an awareness of how to deal with it, (the energies they pick up on like sponges) let alone what is happening and they will adopt addictive tendencies to drown out, numb and distract them, such as drinking, smoking, taking drugs, binge eating to gambling etc.

Unfortunately for some, in doing so (i.e. taking drugs) it can heighten their sensitivities even more and create greater issues.

11. Healing, Holistic Health And Wellness

Whether it is a career as a nurse, doctor, physiotherapist, neurosurgeon, psychologist or massage therapist, homeopath, naturopath, Chinese medicine practitioner and social workers or a veterinarian, those who have strong empathy from a young age are often drawn to these fields due to a pull to helping heal people and/or animals.

Strict and long-term education and work protocols however is known to stifle ones innate empathy and remarkably deter them from what drew them to the field in the first place. Once in the field, there is a great need to be aware of ones empathy and not become overwhelmed in taking on others energy as it can become a catalyst in burning out and walking away all together.

12. Curiosity And Seekers Of The Truth

Driven by curiosity to understand the intricacies of life and an intense desire to seek the truth and question much of everything until they feel a resonance to any given answer, if it doesn’t sit well with them their curiosity will grow and they will continue to seek answers even if it takes a lifetime.

13. Interests In Spirituality And Metaphysical

They can be drawn to the unexplainable, paranormal, metaphysics and have a deep sense of spirituality (not necessarily religion even though they may lean towards such in order to find a sense of belonging). They will dabble in many areas until they find their niche and they will actively pursue it throughout their lifetime.

14. Cultural And Indigenous

They are drawn to ancient cultures that adhere to long-held traditions cloaked in universal laws as they embody innate logic, common sense and practical uncomplicated ways in which to do all manner of things. They will often shake their head in disbelief when others do and act in a way that opposes universal laws.

15. Ancestral Lineage – Who Am I?  

From a young age, they are the child that listens to the stories of old that are passed down throughout the generations. They have a genuine interest in wanting to know where they came from and who their ancestors were and what they did in their lifetime and will grow up to be keepers of the family tree and possess a collection of photo albums and heirlooms. Feeling a sense of connectedness holds great importance and as they learn this, they in-turn will be the one to pass this knowledge on to their children.

16. Quiet Achievers And Strong Leaders

Although they are quiet achievers who prefer to do the hard yards behind the scenes they will often be found in positions of leadership due to their ability to be focused, organized and supportive, quick thinking and capable of inspiring and motivating others with magnificent poise.

They are more comfortable in giving sincere praise upon others rather than accepting it and are often found mediating to maintain a balance of harmony.

17. Creative Talents

A great love for expressing their creativity as artists, musicians, singers, dancers, performing artists, acting, poets and designers etc. They love to tell a story and can captivate an audience through a vivid imagination and an ease in which they can take you directly into the picture as though you were actually experiencing it firsthand.

18. Love Of Nature And Animals

Inclined to have a pet as they love to give and receive unconditional love that come from dogs, cats, rabbits etc. and are often advocates or supporters in the prevention of cruelty to animals.

They enjoy being outdoors, amongst the forest or high in the mountains and are content being connected to the land and will often escape from the busy world to rejuvenate their senses.

19. Cleansing Water

Be it swimming in the sea, floating in the pool, walking in the rain, a long soak in the tub or a hot shower to cleanse and wash away the troubles of the day, they sense the healing properties of water and reconnection to the womb for the safety and comfort it held can be recaptured in that moment.

20. Need For Solitude

Although they can be very sociable, they also like to escape from the hustle and bustle and are content with their own company enjoying the tranquillity that comes with being in a quiet space reading a book, watching a movie, drawing a picture, pursuing a hobby they love to just relaxing. They will display this tendency from childhood and throughout life.

21. Boredom, Distracted And Daydreaming

A need to be stimulated and focused on one project or another and will give all their energy to any given task whether it is at school, work or home life. If the task fails to stimulate their senses they become bored, distracted and will either begin to fidget, doodle or be off in their minds daydreaming.

22. Adventure Seekers, Travel And Spontaneous

Enjoy spontaneity in their life by exploring all that life has to offer and will seek out adventures, travel to far off places or find enjoyable activities nearby. They enjoy being free spirited, leaving the constraints of the world behind them and if they don’t get to do this as often as they would like will become quite restless and agitated.

23. Clutter, Energy And Flow

An awareness of energy comes naturally and they will feel weighted down by clutter and chaos, although they may collect things everything has a place and order and they will constantly do clutter clearing to allow the balance of energy (flow) in their environment. They have an ability to place furniture or even plant gardens in a way that energy flows in and around everything.

24. Rule Breakers

Routine, repetition and rules can become mundane for the creative empath who continuously seek ways in which to express their loves, the things they enjoy in life. If they are told they cannot do something, within reason they will find a way that they can as the willingness to challenge themselves goes hand in hand with being spontaneous.

25. Enthusiasm And Appreciation Of Life

Bursting with energy and an appreciation towards life and living it as fully as they can is filled with enthusiasm. However the downside is they can exert so much energy that they will burn out and need to take time to recuperate and when they do they will bounce back and give themselves fully.

They don’t do anything in halves; it’s all or nothing and they tend to feel disappointed if others around them don’t share the same zest for life as they do.

26. Humanitarians, Peacemakers And Mediators

Conflict is extremely unsettling regardless if it is with family, friends, colleagues or even complete strangers or if it is direct or indirect, locally or internationally and will voice their feelings towards such. They will endeavor to find a peaceful resolution even if it means being a mediator.

They have a love and respect of all people and cultures and vehemently oppose wars, political unrest, cruelty, racism, hatred and separatism as they believe deeply that we can all live together in harmony and will advocate this in one way or another, if not by being pivotal to the establishment of humanitarian organizations or in support of.

27. Sensitive To Antiques, Vintage Or Second-hand

Holding objects such as rings, jewelry, clothing, ornaments or touching door handles to old buildings, entering historical homes etc. can bring through very vivid and accurate accounts of the owner(s) history and life experiences.

This can be extremely daunting and off putting to those sensitive to picking up energies, whereas those who are more aware and in control of their empathy will feel at ease, and be drawn to such.

28. Lucid Dreamers

The dream realm is not just a meaningless place where one goes when they are asleep. An empath often has vivid dreams from a very young age and throughout and will have lucid dreams where they are awake in their dreams and have an ability to control certain aspects by willful thought alone and are capable of describing in graphic detail the dream content.

They also have a strong desire to interpret the dream knowing that it has direct relevance to their physically awake life and in doing so can find answers to guide them well. It is not unusual for an empath to at some point in time in their lives to have experienced and Out of Body Experience or Astral Travel, be it voluntarily or not.

29. Lovers Not Fighters

Empaths love to love others and be loved in return and will seek meaningful relationships throughout their entire lives, though they are not always adept at self-love as they are inclined to give of themselves freely to others and can grow up thinking (by what they learn from society) that it is selfish to love thine self and that that is narcissistic in behavior.

They do not like to be caught up in fights be it verbal or physical as communication comes easily to them, however they will not be passive either but they will aim for a peaceful resolution as quickly as possible. They will get extremely frustrated if the other person is not willing to resolve the conflict fully as they don’t see the logic in dragging things on.

30. Visionaries, Entrepreneurial And Problem Solvers

Intense visionaries blended with their adventurous love of life streak and enthusiasm they will dabble in many ventures and business opportunities and find ways in which to expand their potential, feed their creative minds and do the things they love to do.

They have this instinctive knowing they are capable of achieving greater things and will constantly think outside the box and push through any and all boundaries, (often against the odds) with focused and dog determined energy.  Where there is a problem, their immediately lies an answer and they won’t stop until they find it even if that means inventing it themselves!

It is important to note that most people experience varying degrees of empathy, however if you can say yes to most, if not all of the above you definitely are an empath.

The Law of Divine Oneness

This is known as the golden rule in several religions, you might have seen it expressed like this: Judaism says ‘thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself’. The Torah says ‘do to others what you would have them do to you’. Wicca says ‘harm ye none’. These familiar moral statements can be hard to put into practice when the human experience can make us believe that we are separate. How do you love your neighbor as yourself when they are in a separate body, living in a way that is quite different from each other? The golden rule becomes easier to enact when you know that we are in fact one.

Imagine one ball of energy, now this energy desires to express itself in the world of relativity, and so it does through several different beings all at once, to know itself from various viewpoints. We are as fingers on the same hand, thinking we are separate however once we are out of the illusion of this experience we come know that we are one. This does not only apply to people but all energy; animals, plants, the planets, the unseen world behind the veil. When you feel a deep loneliness within or a longing for something unnamed this is your soul longing for the experience of oneness. We live in this illusion so deeply so that we may experience ourself entirely, every side of ourself and we could not do that if we were in the world of the absolute. But it is incredibly helpful to remember the truth often. The truth is that you and I are the same being and the person you were three life times ago is you too and the energy that makes the trees grow is also you and you are God and God is you.

So love is the recognition of oneness in a world of duality. This is the birth of God into the world of form. – Eckhart Tolle

Upon remembering your divinity and your oneness with all you can appreciate what each soul is trying to achieve here on earth, you can understand human differences and allow people to walk their own path more freely without trying to control it for them. You will walk lighter, knowing that you can never truly be apart from your loved ones or the heavens and you will behave in a way that is far kinder to all.

The Law of Vibration

Everything in its most basic form is energy and that energy is constantly in motion through vibration. When the vibration of energy has slowed right down we see the creation of dense matter as it is in the relative world and when the vibration of energy is accelerated energy becomes lighter and less likely to take on form, so it is with the spirit world.

Matter is energy, whose vibration has been so lowered as to be perceptible to the senses. – Albert Einstein

Nothing in our universe seen or unseen is still, everything vibrates at varied speeds. This is particularly helpful to know when you consider your thoughts and feelings. Both thoughts and emotions vibrate at a particular speed. The vibration of your feelings goes a long way in creating your physical experience.

To apply this universal law try writing down something you would like to occur in your life, then without judgement write down your present thoughts about it, your present feelings about it and your present actions that you are taking to achieve it. Be truly honest and try not to judge yourself. This will show you where you are vibrating at on the level of that which you are wishing into your life. If you’re hoping for a raise in your career but your thinking about it makes you feel an inner tightness and fear then you are not aligned with the outcome you desire. Following this process, try writing down how you would like to feel and think about your goal and then if possible list one or two actions that you can take that will help you get there. Sit with that feeling of having what you desire for a few minutes, imagine yourself already having achieved it and what that feels like. You have now changed your vibration into the alignment of what you desire thus calling it to you in from pure energy into form.

The Law of Action

This law is one that can be overlooked when working with the universe to manifest changes in your life. In order to help you show the universe what your desires are it is vital to take actionable steps in the direction of your goals. Once you have allowed yourself to feel what you would like to experience you will be in alignment with that, take the next step and begin taking action toward it. This can be a small action like creating room in your schedule for that which you desire or bigger actions like making phone calls or signing up to classes that are in the alignment of your goal.

Creation is a proactive process, requiring intention and action.

By applying the law of action to your desires you’re letting the universe know you’re ready for the change and the speed at which you can achieve your desires can move rapidly. You may find yourself in the right place at the right time by ‘accident’ or you will meet someone who can help you achieve your goal in a way that you had not previously realized. Coincidences are perfectly aligned with your vibration and action to support you and the universe always supports you, it’s only statement is ‘yes’. What actions can you take that would begin moving you toward your dreams?

The Law of Correspondence

We might have heard this said “on earth, as it is in heaven”, this is another way of representing the law of correspondence. You may have noticed that what you feel or are ‘being’ internally is what you are more likely to experience externally.

As within, so without. As above, so below – this is the law of correspondence.

If everything that has ever occurred is happening in this moment right now, then your higher self is the you that has experienced it all. You can connect with your higher self for directions and guidance in the same way that you can give advice to your younger self. On occasion you may have experienced deja vu, which is the process of your higher self remembering that you have experienced this moment before.  This is the term as above, so below in action. There is only the illusion of separation, but no true separation; we are all one. If you want to connect to your higher self, allow yourself to have moments of being fully present in the moment, relax your mind and don’t attach to, or judge your thoughts. If you’re facing a decision, in this mindful state allow your intuition to guide you, when you feel a strong pull to one direction, that intuition is information from your higher self.

The Law of Cause and Effect

This law speaks clearly; for every cause there is an effect and for every effect there is a cause. If there is an effect you are seeking to experience then you must take action or cause it to occur. In some instances the cause is unseen, vibrating from your inner world into your outer experience.

Thought is cause, experience is effect. If you don’t like the effects of your life, you have to change the nature of your thinking. – Marianne Williamson

If you want to work with the law of cause and effect work with your intention in every circumstance. Your thoughts, feelings and actions are all motivated by your intention. If you are taking action in any direction whether it be making your morning coffee or giving a presentation ensure your intention is for the highest good for yourself and everyone involved. Envision the best outcome before you do anything, this will not only help guide you to do that which is in your highest interests but also help to create the desired outcome by believing you are already experiencing it.

The Law of Compensation

The law of compensation states that you get back what you give. This can be seen in your job, whereby you are compensated financially for your work. This can also be seen in the little things like smiling at the person serving you and genuinely asking them how they are; sending that kind of joyful interaction toward your fellow man can really spread, brightening not just their day, but yours and others as well. Kindness and joy spread easily with this law, on the flip side so does complaining and resentment, about the state of your world. To minimize this where your first action might be to verbalize your complaint, first ask yourself what can you personally do to change this? When working with this law be sure to give generously without expectation, all that you wish to receive.

Be the change you wish to see in the world – Mahatma Gandhi

It can be very easy to focus on what isn’t working in your life, to get angry or upset over the small things. However when you change your mind, putting your energy into what is working, joyfully and gratefully exclaiming what you adore about your life and that which you want to see more of, this is what will be compensated back to you. Put out into the world that which you desire to see in your own. What kind of world do you want to live in and what can you do to be all that this entails? No matter how small, or how big you can take action that is in alignment with the world you want; volunteering, choosing a vegan diet, giving to a charity, helping a friend with a difficult task, dedicating extra time with a parent or grandparent who takes pleasure in your company, and there are so many more.

The Law of Attraction

This law is probably one of the best known laws although it can leave people feeling empty when they fail to attract the results they desire. By better understanding this law you will be able to work with it and see results. The law of attraction is not a stand-alone one, but works in synchronicity with the others. To begin with you may start with this law, sending out mentally and emotionally that which you desire. Imagine what you desire as if it were here in this moment, what emotional response does this create within you, how do you feel in your body, your mind? Focus for a few minutes on this feeling, then express that outwards, be that which you want to attract. Neale Donald Walsch states that immediately after using your thoughts and feelings to focus on that which you desire, you will automatically invoke the law of opposites. Be prepared to draw to you the opposite of what you want, this is how the universe makes room for what you desire; first you send your desire out as energy, then your immediate experience is the opposite of that. How can you know companionship if at first you do not know loneliness? It may be harder at first, you may desire more company and then have your only friend move to a new town further away. Do no be disheartened this is the natural process. Hold to what you desire and continue to feel that which you desire as if it were here now.

This law states that the moment you declare anything, everything unlike it will come into the room. This is necessary in order to create a context within which what you choose to experience becomes possible. – Neale Donald Walsch

Whenever you are attempting to manifest anything in your life, the best way to speed this process up is to desire something that will be to the betterment of all humanity. Why is this important? Because the law of divine oneness tells us that we are all one. You may think you are here with 6 billion other human beings, but in fact this is just an illusion, we are all one; in fact you’re the only one in the room. So by desiring something that benefits all, you’re seeking to manifest that which will bring joy to all of yourself. The results will be tremendous, they will be manifested faster and almost certainly greater than you had hoped.

To see this in action lets take the desire for company, as an example, when you are feeling lonely, you might imagine and feel what its like to have people whose company you adore; you envision spending time together, having a great time. To help this to be something that is of benefit to numerous human beings you might instead imagine yourself lifting several new people out of loneliness, envisioning yourself lighting up their life with companionship, laughter and boosting their self worth. This second desire will likely come into affect a lot fast than the first. The first desire benefits only you, the second benefits many and this also gives you the clarity to see an opportunity for action which could be taken to help create this experience. In this instance that would be reaching out to people online or with a local advert to reach out to those whose life you can give great friendship to.

Christ: “Wherever two or more are gathered, there I am.” The point of that statement — and the point I am making here: Collective creation can be more powerful than individual creation. – Neale Donald Walsch

Lastly when you desire to manifest anything in your present reality be the source of what you desire. If you cause others to experience that which you desire to have or be then you become the source and are thus abundant in whatever your desire is. This is because it is usually easier to believe that other people may experience what you desire, more so than yourself. If your desire is for more money, cause others to have more money. Find someone who has less than you, no matter who it is, and give to them that which you desire. Offer to pay a bill for a loved one who is experiencing lack in finances, give money to a friend who could use a little extra or give generously to the person living on the streets. By causing another to have more money, you will create it in your own experience for yourself. Take a moment of gratitude each time you hold, spend or receive money; say thank you to the universe and through gratitude you will appreciate your present abundance and create room for more.

Change your perspective. Move from “I do not now have this,” to “I have always had this, and I have this now.” Then, act as if you do. Speak as if you do. Think as if you do. – Neale Donald Walsch

The Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy

This law states that all energy will flow into the world as physical form. The universe is set to “yes” and every thought you have is creative to some degree. You are constantly creating even on the smallest level, energy is constantly moving and your thoughts are constantly constructing reality. Whether your thoughts are in line with what you desire, or what you despise, you will have them as your experience; either in a small way like an advert on television or a big way like a life changing relationship or experience.

Energy from the formless realm is constantly flowing into the material world and taking form. This energy is limitless and inexhaustible. – Wallace D. Wattle

The best way you can work with this law is to be aware of your thoughts and begin the practice of actively choosing your thoughts, instead of living in a responsive state whereby your thoughts are a reaction to your current experience. At first this may seem difficult; to watch one’s thoughts can appear to take a lot of your mental energy. Although discipline at first takes practice eventually it becomes a practice done with ease. When you are in your first few days of working out (especially if you have never done it before) it can seem tiring and difficult, but with practice it can become a natural, daily practice. This practice of choosing your thoughts will benefit your worldly experience greatly.

When your thoughts are consistent, the law of energy will work clearly in your life.

It is the primary or dominant thoughts in your mind that are able to be used by this law, to turn energy into form. You can choose joy or peace in each moment by actively choosing your thoughts and if your consistent in these for long enough you will create in you the new belief that this active thought is your experience. Think it long enough that you believe it.

The Law of Relativity

This law states that what we perceive as real, can only be so by comparison to what surrounds it. Good and bad are relative terms, dependent purely on the definition of the other. Without this level of comparison everything would simply be, and behind the illusion this is exactly how it is, however with the law of relativity we are able to know the full spectrum of ourselves. If our soul’s desire is to know itself as the healer, then there must be someone with whom to heal, else the healer does not exist. Even the master healer holds her status because she empowers others to become their own healers.

Nothing in life has meaning except for the meaning we give it. – Anon

The law of relativity has many benefits, but in regards to the language and judgements we choose it can be used in a way that is harmful and divisive to humanity. Replace judgement with understanding, make it your prerogative to understand another instead. This allows you to use the law in a beneficial way; not only will you be practicing non-judgement which will help you to see our divine oneness but you will also see this person or action as your teacher. They will be a sign post for what your soul is not trying to be, therefore by relative comparison showing your true self to you. When you see examples of what you are not, or what you do not wish to be, you can move away from that, and be inspired to be the change you desire to see in the world. Work with this law to see and be the truest version of yourself.

 The Law of Polarity

This law states that in each thing, its opposite exists. The law of polarity allows for two completely different parts and yet in each seperate part is the possibility of the other. To help you understand this consider yourself, there is both dark and light in you; the potential to move away from your soul by taking part in that which is destructive holds within it space for you to choose its opposite – the path of enlightenment.

Any action has an equal and opposite reaction – Sir Isaac Newtown

Many of us have had the experience whereby something we deem to be tragic turns into our greatest blessing, pushes us to our highest path, allows us to meet our soulmate or awakens us spiritually in a way that nothing less “tragic” could. Even in the midst of a difficulty look deeply into it, ask yourself truthfully, what opposite can be experienced here? Whether this is simply in gaining a new understanding or perspective or whether this difficulty is your call to action to create a positive change, there is always the potential for the opposite. When working with this law be aware of the laws of divine oneness and relativity; remember that no one is “wrong” from their perspective, practice understanding. Make it your aim to find the good in the difficulty; love the profane as much as you love the profound.

The Law of Rhythm

All cycles or energy in motion, can be viewed through the law of rhythm. Imagine a pendulum being pulled to the left, upon release it must move swiftly to the right. This is the universal dance, where one moves the other too must move; the sun setting allows the moon to rise. In nature we see this law in the seasons, planetary movements, the moon pulling the tide back and forth, everything in nature has a rhythm. For women this law of rhythm is experienced in our monthly cycle, others may experience this law by changing careers every seven years; all things have a cycle and such cycles move to this rhythm.

To work with this law recognize that everything you are experiencing is temporary. If you’re experiencing a time of pleasure, express gratitude and enjoy this moment however if you’re experiencing a difficult period in your life take solace in the knowledge that it too is temporary. This is the cycle of all things, however once you begin working with this law you can have tools at the ready to assist you with the challenging times such as meditation and movement. It is useful to apply mindfulness and present moment awareness to all aspects of life as this will help you to find balance no matter your external circumstance.

 The Law of Gender

This is the final law of the 12 universal laws, the law of gender. This law states that in all things there is both the feminine and the masculine. This law shows itself as one of duality. Within yourself you will experience both the feminine – powerful, nurturing, love, intuitive as well as the masculine – taking action, analytical, structured, protective. The law of gender exists regardless of your physical gender male or female and regardless of the gender you identify as: female, male, bi-gender, non-binary, a-gender, pan-gender or any other. This is also the case in spirit, as God or the universe is both female and male.

To work with this law practice balancing the feminine and masculine energy within you. In consciously balancing the two you also balance other states within yourself such as the soul and the ego. Try not to be overly defined by traditional gender roles in society as they can and have limited both women and men for centuries. For example as a woman you may feel limited in your career roles to feminine friendly jobs, as a man you may too feel limited to pro-masculine jobs. Try questioning these old ideas as they arise, replacing them with that which embraces both your feminine and masculine qualities.

Article by Suzi Maddock, July 30, 2017

May Sarton’s Stunning 1938 Ode to Solitude

“The best things in life happen to you when you’re alone,” artist Agnes Martin reflected in her final years. “Oh comforting solitude, how favorable thou art to original thought!” wrote the founding father of neuroscience in his advice to young scientists. The poet Elizabeth Bishop believed that everyone should experience at least one prolonged period of solitude in life. For in true solitude, as Wendell Berry so memorably observed, “one’s inner voices become audible [and] in consequence, one responds more clearly to other lives” — an intuitive understanding of what psychologists have since found: that “fertile solitude” is the basic unit of a full and contented life.

But in the neutral state of aloneness, the psychoemotional line between solitude and loneliness can be as thin as a razor’s edge and as lacerating to the soul. How to draw it skillfully in orienting ourselves to the world, exterior and interior, is what poet, novelist, and memoirist May Sarton (May 3, 1912–July 16, 1995) explores in a beautiful poem she penned ten days after her twenty-sixth birthday, decades before she came to contemplate solitude in stunning prose. Originally titled “Considerations,” the poem was slightly revised and published the following year as “Canticle 6” in Sarton’s second poetry collection, the altogether sublime Inner Landscape.

CANTICLE 6
by May Sarton

Alone one is never lonely: the spirit
adventures, waking
In a quiet garden, in a cool house, abiding single there;
The spirit adventures in sleep, the sweet thirst-slaking
When only the moon’s reflection touches the wild hair.
There is no place more intimate than the spirit alone:
It finds a lovely certainty in the evening and the morning.
It is only where two have come together bone against bone
That those alonenesses take place, when, without warning
The sky opens over their heads to an infinite hole in space;
It is only turning at night to a lover that one learns
He is set apart like a star forever and that sleeping face
(For whom the heart has cried, for whom the frail hand burns)
Is swung out in the night alone, so luminous and still,
The waking spirit attends, the loving spirit gazes
Without communion, without touch, and comes to know at last
Out of a silence only and never when the body blazes
That love is present, that always burns alone, however steadfast.

from Brain Pickings, 12/01/2017

from LifeHacker

There are three types of lies: omission, where someone holds out on the facts; commission, where someone states facts that are untrue; and paltering, where someone uses true facts to mislead you. It’s not always easy to detect, but there are a few telltale signs.

A recent study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, suggests the practice of paltering is pretty common, especially among business executives. Not only that, but the people who do it don’t seem to think they’re doing anything wrong—despite the fact that most people feel like it’s just as unethical and untrustworthy as intentional lies of commission. It’s not just execs who do it, though. If you’ve ever tried to buy a used car from a slimy salesman, been in a salary negotiation with a tough as nails boss, or watched basically any presidential debate, you’ve definitely seen paltering in action.

For example, that slimy used car salesman might say that the old beater you’re looking at “starts up great” and that “these are reliable models” when you ask how it runs, but neglects to mention that the engine of that particular vehicle dies regularly. He didn’t lie to you, but he didn’t tell you the truth either. Jimmy McGill (AKA Saul Goodman), the main character from AMC’s Better Call Saul, is another great example of a pro palterer.

Paltering works so well because it’s not a lie in the way we think of lies, making it harder to accuse someone of doing it. After all, how do you tell someone they’re lying if you know they’re telling the truth. And more often than not, falsely accusing someone of lying makes you look worse than the accused. Paltering is also an easy way to distract someone with things they want to hear. Again, the used car salesman in our example above is giving you information that makes you feel more comfortable about purchasing the car. It may not be information that you asked for, but your brain takes their response as an answer by association. You start to think, “If it starts up great, and the model is reliable in general, this one must run okay,” because why else would he have told you that stuff?

So how do you spot this type of deception? Here are a few tips:

• Know when to expect it: Paltering is common in business negotiations of all types, politics, and sales, but the tactic can also be used in personal relationships when the pressure is on.
• Listen to their language: In the book Deception: From Ancient Empires to Internet Dating, Frederick Shauer and Richard Zeckhauser suggest you watch for exaggeration or vague language. For example, when a real estate agent describes a location as “highly desirable,” or when a restaurant’s signature dish is “famous.” That listing may be highly desirable, but by who? That signature dish might be a famous item, but only at that restaurant. Does it feel like you’re just being told what you want to hear?
• Yes or no questions have power: Listen to the way someone answers a simple yes or no question. Open-ended questions give palterers more wiggle room to conjure true, semi-related information and use it to side-step the main issue. But with a yes or no question, all they should be responding with is either “yes” or “no.” If they’re not, something is probably up.
• Keep questions focused if you get to ask them: If you’re the one who gets to ask the questions, keep them focused. You want to ask yes or no questions that bypass the possibility of paltering. For example, if you were to ask a significant other if they were cheating on you, don’t ask, “Are you cheating on me?” What if the affair was over by the time you asked? They could tell you the truth by saying, “No, I’m not cheating on you.” You should instead ask strict questions like, “Are you now, or have you ever, cheated on me?” The only answers are “yes” or “no.”
• Only accept answers to the questions asked: Whether you’re watching someone answer other people’s questions, or asking the questions yourself, train yourself to reject unrelated answers. Don’t let your brain forget what the question actually was! If the person answering questions responds with related facts, long explanations, or questions of their own, assume they are paltering.

Lying by telling the truth is, unfortunately, highly effective and we’re all pretty used to it by now, so detecting it will take some practice. Remember, just because what you’re hearing is true doesn’t mean they’re not talking around the issue. Don’t just seek the truth; seek the right truth.

It’s always difficult to go deep in writing, especially when it’s a topic of incredible pain and sensitivity. The healing process is long and arduous. However, that first tentative step toward wholeness requires that we see our broken places without justification or prejudice.

We cannot heal without the acknowledgement that we’re broken in the first place.

It’s the tearing off of the bandage from our wounds. It’s the strength to see our wounds for what they are: broken places.

There are those fear-filled people who will try to keep us down, press their thumb upon us because they don’t want us to heal. It’s a frightening process. We’ve been broken for so long, we fear we won’t know who we are if we change. That we won’t recognize ourselves in the mirror. Why do others fear our healing? Because they identify with our wounds and are too afraid to look that closely at them or try to fix themselves. They might not know how, or their fear might be in control of their thoughts and feelings.

BEING BROKEN IS NOT WRONG

We’re all broken in our own ways. Some recognize it and are willing to do the heavy inner lifting required to strive toward wholeness. And be sure, it’s hard work. Perhaps the hardest work we’ll ever do in our lives.

“People that have trust issues only need to look in the mirror. There they will meet the one person that will betray them the most.”  ― Shannon L. Alder

The first step is to allow the idea that we’re broken to motivate us. Not toward laziness and forgetting, but toward staring those wounds straight on and saying, “I see you.” We must name our broken pieces so that they become real and not some abstract concept that languishes forever inside us.

The second step is perhaps the more difficult. It’s the moment you stare yourself in the eyes and say, “I love you.” Not a fake-it-till-you-make-it statement, but said with meaning and Truth. And then you actually have to believe it. This is where many stumble and crawl back to their inner darkness to hide.

Perhaps as children we were told we are worthless, not worth a single kindness. These damaging types of statements take many forms. We don’t need to forgive those who make such statements. Not yet. First we must forgive ourselves, because we feel that we somehow deserved those verbal arrows aimed at our hearts, at our fragile minds. That’s how our child-minds takes ownership of such vitriol. And that inner child does not heal on his or her own. They await a hand of friendship and love to help them heal, or our adult selves cannot move on.

It’s a process, and it surely doesn’t happen in a day, or a week, or even a year. I’ve been focused on healing since I first acknowledged the brokenness in 1997. Someday, I told myself. I don’t have time right now. I’m too busy. I’m too distracted. 

Do you recognize the voice of FEAR convincing you not to act? Have you said those same things to yourself?

Fear is a mind killer. It numbs us and keeps us from acting in our own best interests. It took me since 1997 until 2017 to begin feeling that I have healed some of my most broken places.

Can I tell you what it feels like to finally begin feeling whole? Oh, I know I’m a work in progress. We all are. But we must honor our process. It’s different for every single person on this beautiful planet we live on.

HOW DO WE KNOW WE’RE HEALING? 

It’s when we no longer try to hide our brokenness, because we know we’re working on it. It’s when we can look our naysayers in the eye with kindness and gratitude because we understand where they are on their path, and what they must eventually go through when they acknowledge their own brokenness. It’s difficult to have patience with them, because we’ve come so far ourselves. However, it’s not up to us to fix them. Our kindest gesture is to recognize their brokenness and not condemn them for it.

It’s when we accept responsibility for our brokenness despite the fact that it’s not our fault. We can take ownership without breaking even further.

It’s when you recognize FEAR as your nemesis and set out to wrest control away from it.

It’s when you can stand up in front of your peers or your friends or your family and state: I know where I went off the path, and I now know how to get back on. I was once afraid of your judgment and lack of understanding. Now I know that judgment is a fear-based action, and lack of understanding is merely because I have not been able to look you in the eye and admit that I’m broken. I’m working as hard as I can to heal. 

It’s when you can look yourself in the eye and say, I love you, and mean it. Once you’re able to do that, nothing and no one can push you off your Path, or judge your Truth.

DON’T DO IT ALONE

There are so many ways in which we can get help if we feel unable to help ourselves. Asking for help is not weakness, but shows more courage and commitment than any other kindness you can show to yourself.

I sought help when I was at my lowest, calling a national crisis line because I wanted everything — including my life — to just go away. I was placed on a psych-eval hold in a hospital, then transferred to an in-patient facility. I rebelled against it with everything I had. It took more than a week to understand that it was not a punishment, but a lifesaving resource. By the time I left that place, I knew I could do it, I could heal without resorting to histrionics or suicidal ideation. While there, I got the therapy and the medications I needed to start the steepest climb, the hardest part. Today, I’m off the medications, and well on my way to getting back on my Path, to recognizing my Truth.

Most of all, I love myself more than I’ve ever been able to. That’s a long time to go without. But — and this I promise you — it’s never to late to begin. Right now. Right where you are. There is no plan, no rules. Imagine what it will feel like when you’re healing. Imagine what it feels like when fear is no longer your taskmaster, cracking that mental whip.

It’s a worthy goal. The payoff is tremendous.